Coming home to find a burglar in your house after you've had a really crap-filled day is an experience I wouldn't recommend to anybody. I was living in this shitty little semi-detached place and as soon as I walked in something seemed off. I dunno whether it was the smell in the air or what but I knew something was not right. Then I hear a noise coming from the bathroom. As I was living alone at the time I knew right away that some dodgy shit was going down.
I grab the big maglite I keep by the door and head down the hallway, burst into the bathroom to find this skinny dude halfway out the bathroom window. WHAM he goes as I pull him back through onto the ground. Of course, at first he tries to fight back until he rolls over and sees what he's up against. What I've failed to mention so far is that I'm a big dude. Some might call me overweight but that would be being kind. So when this kid saw my 330 pound figure standing over him with a big black maglite raised above my head... he decided he'd just lie still.
I consider for a moment bashing the shit through him but realize it would be more trouble than it was worth so I just drag him back to the kitchen, grab the phone and then, to make sure he doesn't get away, I take a seat on him. This poor dude had my full weight on top of him for about twenty five minutes while I called the cops and waited for them to arrive while reading a magazine.
Not sure what happened to him after that. I never got a follow-up call as to whether he got sent to jail or whatever but hopefully having my stanky ass on top of him for so long scared him away from a life of crime.
