I had just graduated from college and for various reasons I needed some money quickly. So I thought the best way to make a quick buck was to drive a cab...now I have many stories from my three short months as a Long Island cabbie but my first shift was probably the most memorable.
It was approaching 4am and I had started off at about 5.30 that afternoon. I had already pimped out my cab with all the necessities, a GPS, peanuts, and a killer dancing elvis. Tired as fuck i decided to make one last fare from a couple of guys not far from the main drag.
These were two ugly motherfuckers.
One was short and chubby with a real dopey look on his face. The other guy was taller and looked like he had just hit up some crack. Now no cab driver likes people that run, but they absolutely hate it when drug-fucked apriolas try and rob their ass.
So the tall guy pulled a needle on me. I had two options: give him the money and fuck off, or devestate him some. Needless to say I was tired and a little adrenalised from fear so I jumped out of the taxi and grabbed the closest weapon I could find. A metal can lid. It was probably from the chubby guy's house. I grabbed it by the handle and just started pounding the chubby guy in the head. I thought I must have stunned him because he soon stopped moving and just lay in a ball on the pavement. He probably didn't know his buddy was trying to rob me. Meanwhile, the skinny guy started doing a drunken looking run down the street. I wasn't letting him off easy. I got back in my cab, wheeled around, beamed up and chased the fucker until he hid in a clump of bushes and wouldn't move. After a couple of minutes I left it and went and dropped my cab off.
To this day I still have that heavily disfigured metal can lid hanging on the wall in my garage.
