Everyone has had one of those moments where you are home alone, on the crapper and the phone rings. However I would wager that not everyone has had an experience too much like mine...
So I'm on the bog and my mobile phone rings in my pocket. No big deal, I'll just talk to whoever it is while I'm taking a dump. It was just one of my friends so they'll get over it. Of course, a couple of minutes into that conversation the normal phone rings. Crap. So I get up, still with my pants around my ankles and move out to the kitchen to answer the other phone while still listening to my friend talk about the "hot" chick he hooked up with last night. One minute later I'm also listening to my mother tell me about how well my nephew is doing and she refuses to listen to my "I'm already on the phone, ma." On top of that my buddy doesn't seem to feel like ending his conversation yet... then of course: DING DONG DOORBELL. Yay the delivery guy is here!!
Now, I know what you are thinking... surely I would have just hung up on one of them, perhaps just tell one that I would call them back? The thing is that I like a challenge... even if that challenge does involve talking to two people on two different phones at the same time while signing for a package from the delivery man all the while having my pants around my ankles. The delivery man wasn't too bothered by the fact that there was only a long t-shirt and sweater covering my unmentionables and I had two phones up to one ear. "I'd love to say this happens all the time..." he says. I sign with a smile and say "I'd give you a tip but I can't really reach my pockets right now." At this point ma is getting pissed off because I'm not paying attention to her which results in me getting pissed off "MA, I'M TRYING TO TALK TO TWO OTHER MEN WHILE I'VE GOT MY PANTS AROUND MY ANKLES AND I HAVEN'T WIPED MY TUSHIE." She hangs up, delivery man leaves and buddy on the phone asks "what the hell was that about...? Anyway, this girl was like fuckin' smokin'..."
My next challenge was remembering to wipe. The next challenge after that was getting ma to speak to me again.
