I was having a party on a rainy April night, so everyone was confined to my basement because apparently underage drinking is frowned upon. So I've had many parties in the past, but since my parents and brother were going to be out all night I decided to make this one a bit larger and invite a few people who normally do not make the cut, as well as invite a special guest-of-honor, Hootsie, because he was moving to New York. Naturally we had to get him good and drunk first.
Well, one of the other irregular guests got truly hammerfaced, took off his shirt and tried to fight people, and eventually ended up puking pepperoni pizza all over himself - and my couch and floor. Pretty disgusting. We had to pick up chunks of pepperoni off the floor. But then we get the idea that we should move him off my couch and into the unfinished section of my basement. So my friend Clougher and I pick him up and try to carry him to the other room. Try to - our coordination is very bad and we end up tossing him to the floor pretty hard. However, we are persistent and eventually get him into the other room. But at this point Clougher is pissed off - so he goes off and gathers a huge crowd, promising them a sight. When he gets back, he is holding a sharpie. We all think we know whats coming - we don't. He ends up dropping trow, and pulls out his balls, putting them on the poor passed-out kid's face. And then he traces his balls on his cheek. It was...well, horrible.
Eventually this kid started to get up again - but Hootsie was still mad at him for puking all over the place at his party, so he grabbed a big bottle of hand-sanitizer and whipped it at his head. Sent him back into unconsciousness.
Frankly, he deserved it. Room smelled like puke for a few days.
