I work at a theater, and at this theater we get our fair share of... interesting customers. One of the greatest yet I don't think I will ever forget.
It was a pretty average night, mildly slow, everyone hanging out until closing time. Anyways, my friend Dustin, an usher, was well, not really doing any work, as usual. He was walking around minding his own business when he was approached by a teenage girl with a, distressed look upon her face.
Dustin being the "look the other way" kinda guy he is didn't say anything, until she confided him with a problem. Here's where it gets fun.
She told him she was confused. She was unable to tell if she was lesbian or not. She asked a small favor of him. She wanted to give him a hand job. She thought this was a perfect solution. If she had any feelings during the, performance, she was not, lesbian, but if she enjoyed it, Dustin had a new girlfriend?
Surprisingly, Dustin turned her down! (You'd have to know Dustin to understand what I'm talking about.) After this awkward confrontation he went to a manager to tell his story. They called the cops! Even better, they prosecuted her for sexual harassment! The police report was amazing. It's now hanging in the managers office for every one to see.
I live with idiots.