# 0244

by houndogg


– [ 746 ] +

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In my second year of college I lived with a few people who were generally pretty straight-laced, but every month we would have a party where the drinking would get pretty out of control. We had had cops called to the place for noise violations almost every time.

So in February it was Alex's birthday. Alex is male and wanted to be a stripper, so for his birthday we secretly hired a male stripper (dressed as a cop) to "teach him the ropes" (and humiliate him a bit). So the party is in full swing and the doorbell rings. Another roommate (Christie) who is in on the stripper thing answers the door, confirms it's the stripper and goes to get Alex...

Christie: Alex! The cops are here!
[Alex hushes everyone and goes to the door]
Alex: Good evening officer. Can I help you.
Stripper: We've had some complaints of noise violation from your neighbors and metered the noise level at the street at 60 decibles.
Alex: I'm really sorry, we'll try to keep it down.
Stripper: Is there any underage drinking going on here?
Alex: No sir, everyone here is over 21
Stripper: [stepping into doorway] Are you sure?
Alex: Yes, and I didn't invite you in sir. Please leave my residence
Stripper: Well, it's obvious what's going on here [reaches back, grabs a boom box and hits play] and besides, you've been a really naughty boy.

So the stripper pushes Alex back in the apartment, Christie has supplied everyone with $1 bills and someone else closes the door. The evening's revelries go well. By the end of the night Alex is a semi-pro and giving lap dances to girls at the party. Everyone is generally having a really good time.

Did I mention that we had the cops called to our place almost every party?

So of course with a stripper there the noise volume has gone up substantially and the neighbors do indeed call the cops. By this time the stripper is done and he's hanging out, having a couple drinks with us. So Alex goes dancing up to the door when the cops ring the bell, with his shirt half on. Opens the door, sees the cops and proclaims...


... and dances back into the apartment stripping.

We talked to the cops and smoothed everything out with just a warning.