by stfumaggie


 [ 7 ] +

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As a grade A alcoholic, I rarely - if ever - black out while drinking. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling my girlfriend at the time that.

To test the theory of \"how drunk can she get?\", we began with shots of Captain Morgan, followed closely by Dirty Girl Scout shots. I\'m unsure if it was the combination of rum & peppermint or the sheer amount, but suddenly everyone in my house was completely fucking blitzed. I have one girl throwing up on my futon, her girlfriend trying to sleep with me, and my own girlfriend breaking every shot glass in the house. Me?

I felt totally fine.

I was twenty shots deep - ten of each - and decided for my last shot of the evening, I\'d mix the two. I remember the nasty taste of mixed liquors, then waking up without pants on, feeling like a steamroller hit me at full speed.

Apparently, that final shot had tipped me over the edge. My poor mother, asleep in the other room, heard me trying to make popcorn & came into the kitchen. I was squating in the pantry, peeing on myself & giggling about ponytails. When she tried to put me to bed, I managed to get up again & this time, pee all over our (wooden, antique) kitchen table... which is where I fell asleep. In my own pee. For the second time that night, my mom scooped my urine covered body up & put me in bed.

I spent the next five days locked in my bedroom, crying, eating stale bread & nursing the biggest hangover of my life. However, I still think I made out better than my mom.