by moot


 [ 744 ] +

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Now before I begin I just want to state that this is not an attack on the mentally handicapped. Just an amusing recount of events that occurred when I was in supervision of one.

I used to babysit for my next door neighbours who had a son with rather severe autism. I would often stay late at night while they were out drinking themselves silly.

One such night I was watching TV and he had been in his room for a couple of hours so I go to check up on him. I discovered that he was not in his room and after a quick search of the house I finally locate him in the bathroom. He was wearing absolutely nothing and in his hand he held a plastic spoon which was covered in chocolate fudge. And as a willing slave of the McDonalds corporation, I could identify that this was one of the cheap plastic spoons they give away with their sundaes. My eyes are then drawn to his face, where a thick brown moustache had now caked itself above his upper lip. But it slowly begins to dawn on me that the one thing missing from this picture is the actual sundae itself. I search the room in a bewildered state, just unable to comprehend; firstly, where and how this kid managed to get a chocolate desert this late at night and secondly, where it had mysteriously vanished to. Even the empty cup seemed to elude all my greatest efforts to find it. But before I am able to draw my own conclusions, he solves the mystery for me with one swell swoop of his hand.

Our autistic friend, seemingly havenít satisfied his hunger, proceeds to feast once again upon his delectable midnight snack. Right before my eyes, he takes the spoon, digs it right into his butt, collects a large amount of the rather viscous substance, brings it up to his mouth and takes the largest gulp I have ever seen. All the while grinning happily, totally comfortable with the fact that he has just defecated into his own mouth.

To this day, that big chocolatey smile still haunts my dreams.