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by Higini Jay


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I used to have a job a certain fast food chain, letís (for arguments sake) call it the Burger Shack. Now this particular Burger Shack was in a not so nice part of the town that I lived in, so we used to get all sorts of people coming in, especially late at night. One Saturday night it was heading towards closing time, and as such had most things packed away for the night, and everything was clean (or as clean as it was ever going to get). Then this guy comes in and looks at what we have in the burger racks and orders one burger of which we had none left, his mentality was to get it fresh. I had seen this bloke in before, and he did the same thing most weeks, so I was a tad bit annoyed, but me being the diligent worker I am let it slide and made him the usual burger I always made for him.

It always started off being made in my filthy hands, as the benches were all wiped down, and I sure as hell wasnít going to clean them again, firstly I added the scum pickles from the old buckets we throw away. Up next is my personal favourite Ö the sauce, I now what you are thinking Ö youíre disgusting, I would never do that! But what I would do is take the layer of sediment from the bottom of the fat trays and use that, I find it adds a strong barbeque flavour, very high in greasy-goodness. The rest is pretty standard, a charcoal meat patty, old stringy onion, and last but not least an old stale bun.

You may think of me being a little bit on the dodgy side, but think of this, that guy loved his burger and I loved making it, so tell me, who really loses out???