by LongLinesA


 [ 756 ] +

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I've never had any issues with being naked in my bedroom. There's only one window, barely large enough for a person to fit out of. And to even see in the window, you have to climb up the roof and squat down. The roof slants down from my window and at it's lowest point is pretty easy to climb onto. I used to sneak out that way back when I was a cool kid.

One, innocent night, I had just gotten out of the shower and came to my room and whipped off my robe. I turned on some music and decided that my room needed cleaning. But first, I dried myself off, put my hair up, and lotioned myself down because I'm a woman and we like doing that. I put on a sports bra and some underwear, and danced around my room rather energetically whilst cleaning.

When my phone rang, I assumed it was one of my friend's up for a late night chat, not my mother's best friend/neighbor. At first she made friendly small talk, as she and I are rather close, and she was up in her living room doing homework (she went back to school after having kids). In her living room, she has a giant picture window with a perfect view of the part of my house that has my window and roof. Normally, I would've ran over to the window and looked to see if I could see her, but this time I didn't even think about it.

Then she gasped a bit, and began speaking in a very low voice. "Sweetie, don't freak out, but ... you should close your shades." I laughed and assumed it was nothing too serious, so I asked "Why? can you see me?" At this point, my back was turned to the window so I shook my butt in a joking matter. "No.." she said, then I started getting worried. "But there's..." I didn't hear her finish her sentence, because I turned around to come face to face with A STRANGE MAN SQUATTING IN FRONT OF MY SECOND STORY WINDOW MASTURBATING FURIOUSLY.

I don't think I ever screamed that loud. I guess I surprised him, because he fell backwards and rolled down the roof. I saw my neighbor come bolting out of her house and over to my yard, so I climbed out the window and ran down to the edge of the roof, just in time to see my faithful neighbor beating the shit out of a homeless man with a raging boner.